That's Why I'm Here
by FUDDYDUDDY
Summary: If Steve doesn't admit his problem he could lose everything important to him


Disclaimer: I don't own Steve and I don't own the song "That's Why I'm Here" They belong to SE Hinton and Kenny Chesney.  
  
This is my second attempt at a songfic. I hope you like it  
  
Steve Randle sat gripping the steering wheel; his eyes closed and sweat beading on his forehead. Taking a shaky breath, he forced his fingers to loosen and slowly got out of the car. He approached the building nervously and fought the urge to run. "Go in there, damn it. Don't wimp out now," he muttered to himself. He stood staring at the door and suddenly reached out a hand and jerked the door open. Stepping inside he quickly found the room he was looking for and walked inside.  
  
Noise surrounded him and, again, he fought the urge to run. He pressed his back against the wall and closed his eyes. "You have to do this," he whispered. "If you want your life back you have to do this."  
  
"I'm sorry did you say something?" Steve's eyes flew open and he saw a man old enough to be his father looking at him with concern,  
  
"No," he answered. "I didn't say anything."  
  
The man looked at him kindly and said, "You're new here aren't you?"  
  
Steve nodded nervously.  
  
"Well, I'm glad you're here." He looked around the room and said, "We'd better grab us some chairs. It's almost time to get things started."  
  
As they settled themselves into the folding chairs set up in a circle in the center of the room Steve felt himself breath a little easier.  
  
He was just starting to think that maybe things wouldn't be so bad when a well dressed man of about 30 stood up and started talking. Steve felt a rising sense of panic and hopelessness as the man talked about taking things day-by-day and step-by-step. He had actually started to get to his feet but paused as the room went silent. An old man stood up and started talking.  
  
"Most of you know me but I see a few people here who are new. Maybe you're hear because someone made you come here, maybe you are here by your own choice, maybe you are not sure why you are here," he paused. "Maybe I can make it clear. You're here because you miss the simple things: your kids, your wife. You've lost control and, whether you admit it or not, you know it's true. You know how I know this? Because I've been there and that's why I'm here."  
  
Steve felt his breath catch in his throat as he silently acknowledged the truth in the old man's words. He closed his eyes and saw Katie and Jake playing in the front yard while Jessica, his beautiful, loving Jessie, watched from the porch. He shuddered as he saw himself staggering up the sidewalk and his kids running in fear. His own kids were as afraid of him as he was of his father.. He finally acknowledged that to himself and vowed to see this through.  
  
_Well I ain't had nothin' to drink  
  
I knew that's probably what you'd think  
  
If I'd drop by this time of night  
  
Remember way back when  
  
I promised you I'd drop in  
  
At one of those meetings down at the "Y"  
  
They started talkin' about steps you take  
  
Mistakes you make the hearts you break  
  
And the price you pay  
  
I almost walked away  
  
You could hear a pin drop  
  
When this old man  
  
Stood up and said I'm gonna say it again  
  
Like I do every week  
  
For those who don't know me  
  
It's the simple things in life  
  
Like the kids at home and a lovin' wife  
  
That you miss the most, when you lose control  
  
And everything you love starts to disappear  
  
The devil takes your hand and says no fear  
  
Have another shot, just one more beer  
  
Yeah I've been there  
  
That's why I'm here  
_

Steve closed his eyes and tried to remember when things had gotten so out of control. He had started drinking after Dally and Johnny died. The pain was so great that he had to do something to make it stop, even if it was only temporary. As the years went by and they pressure and responsibility of job, marriage, and paranting built up, he began drinking more and more. He realized that what started out as a way to ease a pain from 10 years ago became his way of coping with everything.

Steve focused again on the people around him and listened as a man about his own age started talking about all the years he had wasted inside a bottle. He spoke of waking up face down in his own vomit on the men's room floor, of not knowing how he got home, and of not being to remember the night before. Steve's mouth actually fell open as he listened to the man talk._ He could be talking about my life_, he thought. It hit him then. He knew why he was there and he knew he had to talk to Jessie.  
  
_This old boy stood up in the isle  
  
Said he'd been livin' a life of denial  
  
Then he cried, as he talked about wasted years  
  
I couldn't believe what I heard  
  
It was my life word for word  
  
And all of the sudden, it was clear  
  
It's the simple things in life  
  
Like the kids at home and a lovin' wife  
  
That you miss the most, when you lose control  
  
And everything you love starts to disappear  
  
The devil takes your hand and says no fear  
  
Have another shot, just one more beer  
  
Yeah I've been there  
  
That's why I'm here_  
  
He found himself knocking on his own front door at 930 that night. "Please Jessie, let me in," he begged.  
  
"Have you been drinking?" she demanded.  
  
"No. I am sober. I swear I haven't had a drink today." She opened the door and let him in. She looked at his eyes and noticed that, not only were they not glazed over, he was crying.  
  
"Steve, what's going on?" she asked.  
  
"Remember I kept promising I would go to those meetings?" he asked.  
  
"Yes. I also remember that you never went to one."  
  
"I went tonight." He started pacing as he told her about all that had happened at the meeting. He told here how sorry he was for ever hurting her, the kids, and everyone else his drinking had ever affected.  
  
Jessie sank into a chair and stared at him in disbelief.  
  
Steve knelt next to her and looked her in the eye and said, "I have a drinking problem, Jessie. I can admit that now and that's the first step. I am going to get help. It won' t be easy but I am going to do it." He felt his heart break as he saw tears rolling down her cheeks. "I know I hurt you bad, baby, and it might be to late for us but will you be there at the next meeting when I admit publicly that I have a problem?"  
  
"How do I know you're serious?" she asked.  
  
Steve got up, walked into the kitchen, opened the cabinet under the sink and pulled out his bottle of Jack Daniels and poured it down the sink. Turning to look at her, he said "You and the kids are more important to me than anything."  
  
"I'll go with you," she said softly.  
  
_I know for us it may be too late  
  
But it would mean the world to me  
  
If you were there when I stand to say  
  
It's the simple things in life  
  
Like the kids at home and a lovin' wife  
  
That you miss the most, when you lose control  
  
And everything you love starts to disappear  
  
The devil takes your hand and says no fear  
  
Have another shot, just one more beer  
  
Yeah I've been there  
  
That's why I'm here  
  
OOH, I've been there  
  
That's why I'm here_


End file.
